AR15 and Me.

In my life, during my life, I have been known for being somewhat of a raconteur (something else you will have to look up). Well at least in my mind. My lovely wife and children may disagree. I try to keep my orations witty and compelling. I think I am a entertaining character (many would tend to disagree). Also they have a tendency not to be brief. Typically I begin my stories with "True, true, story". So why should I change now. To begin.....

True, true story:

Tuesday November 3rd in the year of our Lord 2009. It is a beautiful fall day. My son Daniel (Drew) and I have returned to home after a day running an errand. Andrea and Matthew (my other children, I have 4 remember?) have had a pretty good day. Chores were completed and the house was in its usual state of chaos. The children had asked if they could go out to the neighbors, hang out and do what kids do. So I politely kicked them out.

A short time later I get a call from my oldest son Daniel. During our conversation he explains to me that the 2 dirt bags that live in a trailer next door to our neighbors (behind my property) were fighting. At this point the altercation was not physical but verbal. Quickly it turned to physical. Point of reference: this is what happens when you become a low-life, dirt bag drunk/meth head. I instructed my son to sit tight with his brother and sister. I would be calling a friend of mine with the local Police Dept and would be coming down to get the three of them to escort them home. (Note: If those 2 mutts want to kill themselves have at it. Just leave my kids out of it.) I return to the inside of my home to get locate the number of my Cop buddy. While looking for it I could here some yelling outside and someone coming through my property. I look out of my bedroom window and can see drunk scum hole brother number one walking through my property. He was holding a piece of paper (8.5x11, by the way I am extremely observant) coming up the right side of my house. He was looking at someone I can't see and attempting to talk to them. At this point I am contemplating personal home protection implement and engagement. (Refer to my first post and my support of the 2nd Amend). I thought better of it. Let's see what is going on first. I step outside of my house. Immediately I see to my left 2 County Sheriff Deputies (they did not see me). I poke my head around the corner (to the right) and see drunk loser brother #1 trying to convince Local City Police Officer not to put 3 rounds in his chest. The officer had his issued S&W.40 cal MNP pointing at this jerks chest ordering him to the ground. "Get on the ground! Get on the ground!". It was the same as watching a good episode of COPS. To think I had front row seats. This was gonna be cool. What would have made it more enjoyable is if the had a K-9 unit and released the dog on him. There is nothing funnier than to watch some human piece of trash get torn into by a 110lb German Shepard. I am digressing, please excuse me. Back to the story.

At this point there is a SWAT officer behind and to the perps (cop term) left. He is in full SWAT gear. All black, boots, combat holster for his side arm and a mighty snazzy looking AR-15. Here is where it gets fun. The officer at this point sees me. Bingo! Instant bad guy. Now understand, the officer does not know who I am, where I came from or what my involvement is at this point. He followed proper and correct procedure. Anyone in his place would have done the exact same thing. If not, he should not be a cop. The officer raises his AR-15 (hence the title of this blog), takes a proper and deliberate firing stance, and aims it directly at my chest. My heart rate instantly jumped to about 200 beats per minute. At this point I can feel my bladder and bowels loosening (I did keep them well under control). Was I scared, nope. Why? Because I am not a "bad-guy" a "perp". I have done nothing wrong. Yes I was very uncomfortable. I don't even like someone pointing a pee-shooter at me. So the officer directs me away from my house. "Step away from the house! Is there anyone else inside! Get down on the ground! Lay flat with your hands over your head and feet apart!" My response, "No problem-o officer". Once on the ground he asks if I have any weapons on me. I respond in typical Dan way, "Not at the moment officer". Yeah sometimes my own intelligence amazes me. Another officer places me in handcuffs and assists me to my feet. While on the ground I see my cop buddy, Sgt Greg. I give him a shout out, "Hey man, how's it going?". He looked at me and gave me a little smile. He's a funny guy. After the officers verify my identity (however, they did not find out my secret identity) from my DL, Sgt Greg (you know my funny friend) vouches for me and off come the handcuffs. Now I am a good guy again. I explain to the officers what is going on and who the particulars are. After about an hour or so arrests are made. Bad guys are gone. There were never any shots fired on or around my property. Sgt Greg was on scene very quickly as well as the other officers and had the situation under control. The officers that were detaining me, to include the Swat guy, apologized to me. All the officers were polite and courteous to me. I let them know that it was no problem. I understood completely that they were doing their job. I graciously thanked them for the work they did. They really did do great job.

At this point you may be asking yourself, "what about the kids Dan?" This is why I love my children so. They were safe at the neighbors house watching this unfold and happen to their dear beloved daddy. Were they scared, upset, crying? Nope. They were jumping up and down. Pointing at me and laughing their tails off at me. We have a very strange sense of humor in my household. Honestly it was pretty funny. Have you ever seen an old man try to get to his feet in handcuffs? I would have laughed too and did. Stories are wonderful and I love them. The kids and I had a good bonding moment. I told the wife after she got home from work. Now that is another story in itself. I felt less scared with the Swat cop than I did telling my sweetie pie this story.

That's my story and I am sticking with it. I hope you enjoyed. Thanks all.